Spirling Downhill
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Kind of bad tittle. Dean is forced to kill Sam. But Castiel brings Sam back after he sees how self destructive Dean has become. There's another catch, Castiel pulls Sam out of hell. Odd summery but PLEASE review anyway! UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

**I know, I know, I know. Another story right? But hey, at least I have a couple of them done! And half of them are one shots lol. And I updated a couple of older ones too, I believe. It's just that on a SN site on I was talking to somone about a possible season finale and they said Dean killing Sam and than I said only if they brought Sam back for a fifth season, but than I got to thinking that would be a really powerful storyline and Jensen would do a hell of a job with it so than I couldn't resist writing it lol. So there! :)**

**This chapter is rated K+ for some language.

* * *

****Prologue

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**Dean couldn't believe it had come down to this. _He had killed his brother_. His own flesh and blood. There was no choice, Sam was pure evil now, but _still. _He stood over Sam's dead body, tears cascading down his face as he remembered the events that had happened seconds before Sam died. Sam had become a monster, terrorizing innocent people and killing off hunters. He had planned to carry out what Azazel wanted him to do, to lead an army of demons against the Angels. And Dean _had _to stop it.

__

"What are you going to do, Dean? Shoot me?" The thing that had now taken over his brother completely smiled at him."_I don't think you have the stones!"_

"Come one Sammy," Dean begged, gun in his hand. "Don't make me do this."

"Do what?" Sam eyed the little girl that was going to be his latest victim. "You're not going to do anything," he hissed.

"Please, Sammy, I'm begging," Dean pleaded desperately but his brother just laughed and went to attack the little girl who screamed. A gunshot was heard around the witnesses. Without exactly realizing what was happening he had pulled the trigger as soon as Sam lunged at the girl with a knife. Sam collapsed, a bullet in his head.

Dean stood over Sammy's body, his hand going over his mouth.

"Oh God," he whispered and collapsed next to what was left of his baby brother. He couldn't see because he was blinded by his tears. "Oh Sammy," he said, shaking his head. "What did I do?" He looked around the people that had been Sam's prisoners. One of those people was Bobby. He stared at them, his whole body convulsed in tremors. "What did I do?!" He suddenly bellowed in a tone filled with anguished rage. He than let out a yell that came from only someone who had lost someone dear to them. A strange almost animal like yell with no words, just noise. Heartbreaking noise, yes, but just noise.

He put his arms up to his face and started to rock back and forth, while clutching Sam's body back and forth as he continued to yell in rage. Quickly Bobby ushured the others to leave. He went over to Dean and started to touch him when Dean suddenly barked an an extremly dangerous and dark tone-

"Don't touch me!"

Bobby jerked back and than wisely choose to leave Dean alone.

Dean continued to rock back and forth while screaming and yelling in rage, unable to comprehend the fact that he had failed to protect his baby brother. That he had failed to save Sammy from his fate.

That he had failed. He stared at the gun. It was a good thing there was only one bullet left. But there was some more guns in the car...no. He shook his head as he continued to rock back and forth, holding Sam's body. He didn't deserve that safe release.

He didn't deserve an easy exit. He had been to hell and back but than hurt worse than any torture that he had endured. This w_as _his hell. Rain and tears were becoming one now, he couldn't tell which was which. And he didn't care. He didn't care about the frost settling in for the night. He didn't care how cold it was. He didn't deserve any comfort whatsoever.

He _killed _his brother after all. He dserved to live a long and painful life.

He deserved to constantly remember what he had done, as if he could forget. Finally, and numbly, he carried Sam back to the Imapala and laid his brother genly in the backseat. Sam was harmless now, and Dean couldn't get rid of his body ye.

God he looked so _innocent_ laying there. Like he was asleep, only Dean knew the dark secret. He knew the truth, and he would always know the truth. He pulled up to the motel and carried his brother into his room. Castiel was waiting for him. So was Uriel. Gently Dean laid Sam on the bed.

"Boy you two have a _lot _of nerve showing up here," he said slowly and darkly.

Castiel sighed, his face looking truly remorseful and sad.

"I am so sorry this came to this, Dean. I really am."

"Yeah, I bet you are," Dean snarled. He glared at Uriel. "I bet you're _thrilled _that he's dead."

"I am never thrilled when someone dies, but I am relieved to have the problem taken care of," Uriel said. "Sam Winchester is no longer a threat to us, so yes I am relieved. And I hope you don't spend to much time mourning for him, after all he did become a monster and we have more pressing issues at stake right now."

"You sonofabitch," Dean growled, clutching his fists tightly. He dove towards Uriel but Castiel grabbed him before he could throw a punch.

"You better watch your manners Dean Winchester," Uriel said softly, while standing. "And show a little respect. We have the power to get you out of hell, we can also send you right back to it."

"Then do it!" Bellowed Dean. "Go right ahead! Please, it'll be a blessing!"

"You don't mean that, Dean," Castiel said softly.

"Yeah I do," Dean said, his voice breaking. "Hell...it's better than what I'm feeling right now."

The Angels looked at each other.

"We came to remind you that you still have work to do," Castiel told him. "I am very sorry that Sam had to die, truly I am. And even sorrier that you had to kill him. But there are bigger than at Stake. God-"

"Fuck God!" Dean bellowed. "I don't give a rat's _ass _about him. He could burn in hell as far as I care, hell I'd even _enjoy _watching it."

Castiel stared at him.

"You don't mean that."

"You don't think I do?" Dean stared at him. "My _brother is dead_! _I _killed him! Why should I give a _damn _about God anymore? Or anyone? You know what, I'm done. I quit. I'm through with all of it. Send me back to hell if you want, _hell _that would be a relief compared to what I'm feeling. But whatever it is that you're cooking up?" He was inches away from Castiel's face. "Leave me out of it. I want _nothing _to do with it."

Castiel and Uriel glanced at each other.

"We'll come back when you've had the proper time to greive," Castiel told him softly.

"Yeah," Dean said quietly and dangerously. "You do that."

And just like that both were gone, leaving Dean alone with Sam's body.

Dean turned and glanced at his baby brother laying on the body, a hole in his head.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he said, his voice shaking. "So sorry..."

And with that he collapsed in convulsed sobs once more, his cries filling the other wise silent street throughout the night...

**Is it any good? This one was a little bit harder for me to write, especially the scene with the Angels. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! The next part is going to be even harder to write. I know most people I've talked to about this said that Dean would kill himself if he had to kill Sam. He probably would but that's not much of a fic! lol. So I decided the only reason why he wouldn't would be to punish himself, if that makes sense. I'm going to switch it back to K but just rate the first chapter K+

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****Chapter 1

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**

Dean sat in front of Sam's body with a dull expression on his face. He held a beer bottle in his hand. He felt nothing but blackness. A hole was growing knowing at his heart.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he slurred. "So sorry."

Tears found home on his face. He shook his head.

_"Whatever it's going to take, I'm gonna save you"_

He failed. He failed to save Sammy. He looked at his cellphone. He had nearly 10 messages. Numbly he checked them.

"Dean....it's Bobby....look I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that this happened Dean...so sorry...I'm worried about you kid. You shouldn't have to go through this alone."

"Yeah, I should, Bobby," Dean ushured to the empty room. In a trance he listened to the other messages from Bobby, that basically said the same thing. Than he turned the phone off. He sfelt himself nodding asleep. He jolted awake. Sammy was sitting in bed, blood coming out of his head.

"Sammy?" He jumped out of his seat. "I thought you were dead-"

"I am dead, Dean," Sam said quietly, his voice strange and disoriented. "You killed me, remember?"

"I'm sorry." Dean casted his eyes on the ground. He couldn't look at his brother. "I'm sorry."

"You failed me Dean," Sam accused him. "You couldn't save me. You KILLED me. What kind of brother are you?"

"I'm sorry," Dean repeated.

"Sorry won't bring me back, Dean." Sam walked closer to him. "You killed me. You're going to have to live with that."

"I know-"

"I mean why _do _you get to live?" Sam suddenly snarled. "_I'm _the good one! The one that had a future. I could have gone back to law school. Gotten married, had kids. Gotten a life. But _you _took me from that!"

"I'm-" Dean started to speak but than couldn't say another ord. Sam came towards him and grabbed him by the neck.

"You KILLEd me!" He than roared. "You! My own brother!"

Dean started to choke before he woke gasping. As he blinked, and adjsuted to his surroundings, he looked around, shaking, and stared at Sam who was still laying on the bed-clearly dead.

"I must be losing it," he gasped, running his hand over his face. He shook his head. He had to get out of there. If he stared at Sam's body any longer he was going to kill himself. So even though he was already drunk he headed towards the nearest bar.

He drowned himself in more liquir. While he was there he saw a young woman that kept glancing at him. Most of the time he would have walked over to her and asked he out. Now he didn't even give a damn. His eyes were red and puffy. He stared at the wall in front of him. Was it possible to feel so dead inside? He chugged another before he got up to leave.

"Maybe I should call a taxi," the bartender suggested.

"Don't bother," he mumbled and stumbled out of the car. "I don't deserve no favors." After he started to drive he stepped on the gas praying to get into an accident. No such luck, of course not. He had never been so lucky before, why now? As he stumbled into the room he stared at his dead brother.

Even though Sam had been evil for a while he had gotten two beds in that room because he had foolishly thought he would have saved his brother. It was cruel irony that he used the bed as a place to put Sam's corpse.

So much for saving him.

He couldn't sleep. He had to work. Yes, keep working. As long as he was hunting he didn't have to feel. He went to the car and drove off. For once he didn't turn on the music.

* * *

He was brutal. He didn't care what he killed. He was running on fumes and adrenalin was pupping in his blood and through his veins. He loved it when he dicapited the vampires and burned corpses. He was ruthless in excorising demons. Most of the victims didn't survive his torture. He didn't give a damn about that anymore, though. He thirsted for revenge and yet there was no one to kill for he had been his brother's murderer, and no one else. So he had to release that anger and thirst on his hunts.

He had yet buried Sam. Even though it had been a couple of weeks and Sam's body had started to smell he couldn't bring himself to put Sammy in the ground, or to burn him. He coudn't part with his baby brother yet. He knew he had to leave soon though, or the manager and other customers would notice the smell and ask questions.

Castiel was waiting for him when he entered.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He growled, placing his jacket on the table.

"You haven't buried Sam." Was Castiel's response.

"No," he said quietly. "I haven't."

"Isn't it time to let go?"

"No, it's never time to let go," was Dean's sad response. Castiel sighed.

"Dean, this destructive lifestyle...you have to stop it."

"And why should I do that?" Dean snarled. "Why should I do anything you ask me to do?"

"We still need you...."

"Well screw you! And God. I don't need God, I don't need anybody!"

"Yes, you do," Castiel said slowly. "You need your brother."

"Yeah? Well he's dead, I killed him! So unless you can do something about that I don't want to have _anything _to do with your plans! Hell let Lucifer walk free! I don't give a shit about any of that anymore."

Castiel stared at him.

"Are you really so selfish that you'd let your entire race perish because you were too busy greiving for your dead brother?"

That made Dean pause, but only for a minute.

"Maybe we're all better off dead," Dean growled. "I mean, why are we even here? If there's all this pain and suffering-what's the Goddamned point anymore?"

Castiel closed his eyes.

"I had hoped that by now you'd have-"

"I'd have what? Gotten over it? Moved on?" Dean stared at him. "I'll _never _get over this," he said, nodding to Sam's body. "So you're just gonna have to save your own asses for a change."

He turned away from the Angel.

"Please...just leave," he whispered. "Just LEAVE!"

Castiel flinched as Dean yelled at him and walked out. He paused at the doorway.

"I truly am sorry," he said. Dean sighed.

"Yeah I know," he finally said. "But sorry won't bring him back. Castiel nodded and closed the door softly behind him

* * *

Castiel walked up to Uriel.

"How did it go?" Uriel asked and Castiel shook his head.

"I don't think Dean will ever be the same again."

"The ungrateful wrench," Uriel growled. "We pulled him out of hell and this is the thanks we get? He's becoming more trouble than help."

Castiel sighed.

"I think we should bring Sam back."

Uriel stared at him.

"Sam Winchester?"

Castiel nodded.

"Yes."

"How do you know he won't come out evil?" Uriel challenged him.

"He won't," Castiel said calmly. "His shoul is being punished in hell, but when he died he returned to the person he was. But by than it was too late to save him. This will give him a second chance to redeem himself and honestly, I don't think Dean will help us any other way. And we need him desperatly, or we won't win. You know that."

Uriel sighed.

"Yes I do. But we should just force him to help us."

"You know you can't force someone to do something they truly don't want to do."

Uriel nodded.

"Yes but bringing Sam Winchester back...that is too risky."

"It's a risk that we have to make," Castiel said. "And he'll remember hell, I'll make sure of that. As a constant reminder of what is going to happen to him again if he turns. Right now Dean Winchester can't function without his brother. He's becoming dangerous himself."

Uriel shook his head again.

"I don't like it," he mumbled. "But if you think it's necessary-"

"I do."

"Than so be it. But just a warning, the next time I see Sam Winchester start to turn-I take him out. No qustions asked. We can't go throug that again."

Castiel nodded.

"Agreed."

The two looked at each other.

"So," Castiel said. "Sam Winchester will be returning to us once more. I hope things will be back on track afterwards."

"They better," Uriel growled.

* * *

As Dean had passed out on his bed in a drunken state Sam Winchester's eyes snapped open...

**Again this chapter was pretty hard for me to write, with the whole Angel stuff and especially what Dean's going through. I hope I did a somewhat decent job :) **


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